Techie's enthusiasm for decluttering fails to spark joy
Who, me? Thankfully, luck – and a handy greybeard – came to the rescue
Columnists06 May 2024 | 57
Columnists
Time to study the classics: Vintage tech is the future of enterprise IT
Opinion Look back in wonder
Columnists16 Jan 2023 | 93
Killing trees with lasers isn’t cool, says Epson. So why are inkjets any better?
Imagine there's no printer drivers. It's easy if you can...
Columnists05 Dec 2022 | 121
Firefox points the way to eradicating one of the rudest words online: PDF
Comment The ghosts of dead trees haunt us still
Columnists24 Oct 2022 | 240
Rust is eating into our systems, and it's a good thing
Opinion Language wars, huh, what are they good for?
Columnists26 Sep 2022 | 124
The International Space Station will deorbit in glory. How's your legacy tech doing?
Opinion Your past projects may be a pain, but can they rain fiery death from above?
Columnists30 Aug 2022 | 101
You can never have too many backups. Also, you can never have too many backups
Who, Me? A Reg reader comes to appreciate the value of paper
Columnists29 Aug 2022 | 116
Big Tech is building the metaverse of its own dreams. You don't want to go there
Opinion No country for old menus
Columnists22 Aug 2022 | 104
We were promised integrated packages. Instead we got disintegrated apps
Something for the Weekend Not to mention the severely disadvantageous subscription model
Columnists19 Aug 2022 | 145
Psst … Want to buy a used IBM Selectric? No questions asked
On Call We would have got away with it too, if hadn't been for your perfectly reasonable user request
Columnists29 Jul 2022 | 174
Dell and Ubuntu certify latest model of XPS 13 ultrabook
Computer giant's Project Sputnik extends to the 2022 model series
Columnists21 Jul 2022 | 19
Getting that syncing feeling after an Exchange restore
Who, Me? We've got the whole weekend. What could go wrong?
Columnists04 Jul 2022 | 83
Seriously, you do not want to make that cable your earth
On Call Network? What's that when it's at home?
Columnists20 May 2022 | 250
RISC-V needs more than an open architecture to compete
Opinion Arm shows us that even total domination doesn't always make stupid levels of money
Columnists16 May 2022 | 57
September 16, 1992, was not a good day to be overly enthusiastic about your job
Who, Me? If I get in early and work hard, everyone will notice, right?
Columnists16 May 2022 | 64
Confirmation dialog Groundhog Day: I click OK and it keeps coming back
Something for the Weekend Yes/No/Cancel culture at its worst
Columnists13 May 2022 | 145
Your AI can't tell you it's lying if it thinks it's telling the truth. That's a problem
Opinion Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of ML? Er, nobody
Columnists25 Apr 2022 | 52
In IT, no good deed ever goes unpunished
Who, Me? When being helpful can mean being shown the door
Columnists25 Apr 2022 | 71
The month I worked for DEADHEAD: Yes, that was their job title
Something for the Weekend? We can't have that contractor making us look bad
Columnists01 Apr 2022 | 71
Beware the techie who takes things literally
Who, Me? 'If it works already, why pay' says the boss... because of course he does
Columnists21 Feb 2022 | 94
Popular
It looks a lot like VMware just lost a 24,000-VM customer
Next Computershare CTO says he got a bill 15 times his previous quote
CIO who dropped VMware 18 months ago now feeling thoroughly chuffed
Next Predicts worse to come for customers as he builds AR for slot machines around Nutanix
John Deere now considers VMs to be legacy tech, Ethernet and Wi-Fi on the brink
Next Plans robo-tractors to help as folks flee the farm but the planet stays hungry
I stumbled upon LLM Kryptonite – and no one wants to fix this model-breaking bug
Feature Neural nets with flaws can be harmless … yet dangerous. So why are reports of problems being roundly ignored?
Giving Windows total recall of everything a user does is a privacy minefield
Build It's only a preview, and maybe it should stay there ... forever
Starlink offers 'unusually hostile environment' to TCP
Hopping satellites every 15 seconds will do that to a protocol, natch
How Apple Wi-Fi Positioning System can be abused to track people around the globe
In-depth SpaceX is smart on this, Cupertino and GL.iNet not so much
'Little weirdo' shoulder surfer teaches UK cabinet minister a lesson in cybersecurity
Tory comms leaked thanks to a barefooted Johnny Mercer’s wayward situational awareness
Bad vibrations left techie shaken up during overnight database rebuild
On Call Slow and steady wins the race, but sometimes flooring it saves the day
Manjaro 24 is Arch Linux for the rest of us
Because not everyone has time to be a tech guru
STORIES
Food for thought on the return to the office
Something for the Weekend? Quality time with human beings? Nah. Gimme some free Monster Munch
Columnists18 Feb 2022 | 87
File suffixes: Who needs them? Well, this guy did
On Call He followed the instructions... blindly
Columnists18 Feb 2022 | 206
Nothing's working, and I've checked everything, so it must be YOUR fault
On Call Yes, but are you sure? Really sure?
Columnists07 Jan 2022 | 164
Halo Infinite ups the nostalgia factor for fans of the originals, but it's not without limits
The RPG 343 Industries brings open world to the long-running military sci-fi epic
Columnists05 Jan 2022 | 11
The year ahead in technology fail: You knew they were bad, now they're going to prove it
Opinion Stock up on schadenfreude, it may be 2022's most popular commodity
Columnists04 Jan 2022 | 79
Predictive Dirty Dozen: What will and won't happen in 2022 (unless it doesn’t/does)
Something for the Weekend, Sir? We confidently predict that the predictions in this article will turn out wrong
Columnists31 Dec 2021 | 211
Microsoft Paint + car park touchscreen = You already know where this is going
12BoC I'll just pay the- OH MY GOD
Columnists26 Dec 2021 | 56
Not the kind of note you want to see fluttering from an ATM
12BoC This won't buy me beer
Columnists25 Dec 2021 | 34
Who you gonna call? Premium numbers, but a not-so-premium service
On Call Let me take you back – way back – to 1998
Columnists24 Dec 2021 | 134
Log4j and Omicron: Brothers in harm, mothers of invention
Opinion That which does not kill us can still ruin our Christmas
Columnists20 Dec 2021 | 36
A smarter alternative to password recognition could be right in front of us: Unique, invisible, maybe even deadly
Something for the Weekend, Sir? Take your breath awayyyyyyyy
Columnists03 Dec 2021 | 81
New World: Grindy? Check. Repetitive? Check. Fun? We hate to say it... but check
The RPG Goddamn it, Jeff Bezos' lot can make a passable MMORPG after all
Columnists30 Oct 2021 | 31
Config cockup leaves Reg reader reaching for the phone
Who, Me? Yet another thing that was really not better in the old days
Columnists11 Oct 2021 | 71
Get real: Say what you like about your app but don't be surprised if I trollsplain
Something for the Weekend, Sir? My next column will be written in spaaaaaace
Columnists08 Oct 2021 | 57
How to stop a content filter becoming a career-shortening network component
Who, Me? He's not just a Big Cheese. He's a very naughty boy
Columnists31 Aug 2021 | 69
When everyone else is on vacation, it's time to whip out the tiny screwdrivers
Something for the Weekend, Sir? Fixing laptops and solving UX conundra – all in a night’s work
Columnists27 Aug 2021 | 151
Fix five days of server failure with this one weird trick
On Call When you have eliminated the impossible...
Columnists27 Aug 2021 | 163
Horizon Workrooms promises a virtual future of teal despair
Opinion Only one company can make VR so bad it makes MS Teams look good – Facebook
Columnists23 Aug 2021 | 42
Hacking the computer with wirewraps and soldering irons: Just fix the issues as they come up, right?
Who, Me? The neverending battle betweeen youthful optimism and aged cyncism
Columnists23 Aug 2021 | 103
So the data centre's 'getting a little hot' – at 57°C, that's quite the understatement
On Call You know that thing that's supposed to put out the fire?
Columnists20 Aug 2021 | 102
Come fly with me. But first we need to find a boot device
Bork!Bork!Bork! An unexpected bork in the boarding area
Columnists11 Aug 2021 | 18
The web was done right the first time. An ancient 3D banana shows Microsoft does a lot right, too
Column It's wonderful that code written for Windows 3.1 still works well today
Columnists11 Aug 2021 | 136
How to keep your enterprise up to date by deploying the very latest malware
Who, Me? Salesmen suffer after suspicious surfing
Columnists19 Jul 2021 | 71
The world is chaos but my Zoom background is control-freak perfection
Something for the Weekend, Sir? Nudge that potted plant a little to the left aaaaand… action!
Columnists09 Jul 2021 | 96
If HAL did digital signage. I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that...
Bork!Bork!Bork! My God! It's full of Bork!
Columnists14 Jun 2021 | 17
Thanks, boss. The accidental creation of a lights-out data centre – what a fun surprise
Who, Me? At least nobody said 'watch this!'
Columnists07 Jun 2021 | 116
How many remote controls do you really need? Answer: about a bowl-ful
Something for the Weekend, Sir? I don’t care if the football’s on, we’ll have to watch whatever the TV wants us to
Columnists04 Jun 2021 | 148
Today I shall explain how dual monitors work using the medium of interpretive dance
On Call You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!
Columnists04 Jun 2021 | 150
Nobody expects the borkish bank-wisition: When I said I wanted some notes from the ATM, I never thought I'd see...
Bork!Bork!Bork! ...the vast emptiness of Notepad
Columnists28 May 2021 | 16
Nature is healing: Shhh. It's a lesser spotted Pi Bork nesting behind the bushes at IKEA
Bork!Bork!Bork! Hålp, I äm stuck in emergency möde
Columnists25 May 2021 | 25
Your private data has been nabbed: Please update your life as soon as possible while we deflect responsibility
Something for the Weekend, Sir? Because our golf-obsessed boss has wandered off fondling his balls
Columnists14 May 2021 | 86
Beijing steps on Alibaba's Ant Group by forcing it to submit to same regulation as banks
Requires Alipay to open to competition but stops short of ordering company break up
Columnists13 Apr 2021 | 9
How to ensure your tech predictions catch on in a flash? Do the mash
Something for the Weekend, Sir? All inventions should be demonstrated by a puppet doing a Tommy Cooper impression
Columnists09 Apr 2021 | 70
A floppy filled with software worth thousands of francs: Techie can't take it, customs won't keep it. What to do?
Who, Me? Halt and catch fire
Columnists05 Apr 2021 | 177
Easily distracted by too many apps, too many meetings, and too much asparagus
Something for the Weekend, Sir? Nothing like a steaming bowl of freshly picked spaghetti
Columnists02 Apr 2021 | 75
Yep, you're totally unique: That one very special user and their very special problem
On Call Register reader finds that some Apple fans are... not very bright?
Columnists02 Apr 2021 | 195
A Code War has replaced The Cold War. And right now we’re losing it
Column There’s always someone to blame for bad infosec, but never a willingness to make meaningful change
Columnists10 Mar 2021 | 85
Stob's vital message to Britain's IT nation: And no, it's not about that
Stob It's actually another Huawei down the 5G antennas
Devops01 Apr 2020 | 28
Verity Stob is 'Disgusted of HG Wells': Time, gentlemen, please
Stob Drinking the Kool-Aid outside the box
Columnists28 Jan 2020 | 58
In Rust We Trust: Stob gets behind the latest language craze
Stob My, what beautiful curly braces you have
Devops27 Nov 2019 | 117
The Pi who loved me: Licensed to SSL
Stob Wherein Verity is troubled by a curious spam
Devops16 Jul 2019 | 29
Programmers' Question Time: Tiptoe through the tuples
Stob Addressing the pro-horticulture/anti-nerdiculture bias
Devops23 May 2019 | 38
Everyday doings of a metropolitan techie: Stob's software diary
Stob Chronicles of Delphi scribe podcasts, er, scribbles her musings
Columnists23 Jan 2019 | 52
That Old Time 2018 IT songbook: Verity, Verity - give us your lyrics, do! We're half crazy, all for the love of you
Stob It's sing-along-a-Stob time
Devops14 Nov 2018 | 20
30-up: You know what? Those really weren't the days
Stob Happy anniversary, readers, from the original Git it girl
Devops20 Sep 2018 | 143
The harbingers of Doomwatch: Quist is quite the quasi-Quatermass
Stob Bug behaviour in the wild
Columnists21 May 2018 | 36
There are 10 types of people in the world, but there is only one Melvyn
Stob Verity puts a Bragg in your shell-like
Columnists28 Mar 2018 | 42
2001: A Stob Odyssey
Open the chuffing pod bay doors yourself, Dave
Devops28 Nov 2017 | 22
Programming in the Middle Ages: Docker makes a lovely pair of trousers
Stob Lest we forget
Devops19 Sep 2017 | 56
Miss Misery on hacking Mr Robot and the Missing Sense of Fun
Stob He's both the sharpest tool AND two spanners short
Columnists28 Mar 2017 | 88
Seven pet h8s: Verity is sorely vexed
Stob Where's pocket Bjarne Stroustrup when you need him?
Columnists20 Jan 2017 | 57
Brexit at the next junction: Verity's guide to key post-vote skills
STOB Breaking up is hard to do
Devops26 Sep 2016 | 75
Washed out summer? Fear ye not: DVDs for DevOps droogs
Stob Virtual box sets for REAL IT pros
Columnists26 Jul 2016 | 23
The Sons of Kahn and the Witch of Wookey
Stob Verily, they did make support for the Internet of Things
Columnists20 May 2016 | 48
Alice, Bob and Verity, too. Yeah, everybody's got a story, pal
Stob Bus bore claims saucy crypto bragging rights
Columnists07 Mar 2016 | 45
Learn you Func Prog on five minute quick!
Stob I remember the Monoids; they came before the Cybermen
Devops13 Jan 2016 | 138
A Bombe Called Christopher, or A Very Poor Imitation
Stob Verity publishes the real script of Turing biopic The Imitation Game
Columnists26 Jan 2015 | 59
V. R. R. Stob's magnificent saga A Game Of Dog-and-Bones
Stob GUARANTEED no elves and hardly any violence. Or incest
Columnists18 Dec 2014 | 26
Today's bugs have BRANDS? Be still my bleeding heart [logo]
Stob Code-slinger Verity reviews the rash of groovy-named open-source security vulns
Columnists01 May 2014 | 108
Eight EXCELLENT languages for the fondleslab-friendly Intranet of Thingies
Stob Shifting software paradigms and so forth
Columnists20 Jan 2014 | 54
Three Men in a Tardis
Stob Verity has discovered a pre-Doctor Doctor Who episode
Columnists12 Nov 2013 | 35
Down with Unicode! Why 16 bits per character is a right pain in the ASCII
Stob We were sold a lie. It's time to go back to 8-bit
Columnists04 Oct 2013 | 198
Verity's summer songs for programmers: Sing your pals to sleep()
Stob When Irish IDEs are smiling, and so on
Devops22 Jul 2013 | 8
Bjarne Again: Hallelujah for C++
Stob Plus: Now officially OK to admit you never used STL algorithms
Columnists17 Jun 2013 | 102
In space, no one can hear your laptop Blue Screen
Stob Way above the Cloud, there's a bring-your-own-disaster brewing on the ISS
OSes07 May 2013 | 14
Six things a text editor must do - or it's a one-way trip to the trash
Stob Does your source code editor pass the Verity test?
Columnists11 Mar 2013 | 227
Who ate all the Pis?
Stob Verity Xmas wish comes true
Columnists29 Jan 2013 | 84
8086 and All That. Revisited
Stob Back when England was Top Nation in computing: reassembled from ancient parchments
Columnists22 Dec 2012 | 27
The Sons of Kahn and the assembly language of the internet
Stob C# hath become a lonely path. And the Beast hath shut its gates against us
Columnists11 Dec 2012 | 49
Stob on Quatermass: Was this British TV's finest sci-fi hour?
Stob Special Let's shake the dead fly out of the DVD
Columnists08 Nov 2012 | 59
Five go wild with the Administration Tools Pack
Stob Nobody owns the Linuxes, Julian
Columnists23 Oct 2012 | 17
How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love IPv6
Stob You make my heart go Ping
Columnists21 Aug 2012 | 79
Welcome, friend, to Metroland
Stob You Betjeman
Columnists09 Jul 2012 | 30
Stuck in a dull conference? You need Verity's survival guide
Stob Getting your own back on technical seminar speakers
Columnists14 May 2012 | 39
Hold on, Booker prize judges - Stob's penned a steampunk hit
Stob Everyone has a novel in them. Sadly this includes Reg columnist Verity
Columnists17 Apr 2012 | 40
Molesworth and the New Latin
Stob 'Why must we lurn about computa sciense sur? Why?'
Columnists27 Feb 2012 | 81
The Sons of Khan and the Pascal Spring
Stob How Embarcadero made Delphi as groovy as a Lumia phone. Um...
Columnists16 Jan 2012 | 28
Riders of the Bearded Sage
Stob Is that a dead parrot in your pocket, or are you just trying to please me?
Columnists21 Nov 2011 | 11
Doctor Who and the Unsatisfactory Five Hole Tape Punch
Stob Early world-dominating computers of the series
Columnists07 Nov 2011 | 33
Verity's secret shame revealed
Stob Password techniques and retrospective Daleks
Columnists19 Sep 2011 | 71
Biting the hand that feeds IT
